My Self-Confidence Increased When I Started Doing This …

There is one thing that prevented me from following my dreams more than anything else. That was a basic lack of self-confidence. I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t have the confidence necessary to follow my instincts and value my own opinions over others.

I assumed that everyone else had it all figured out. They knew more than I did. They lived in a nicer house than I did, and they had a much better job than I did. I just knew that everyone was better than me.

When you feel this way it is difficult to move forward with your life. You’re less likely to act on your good ideas. You’re less likely to stand up for yourself when someone mistreats you. You cannot be happy in life when you are not happy with yourself.

I knew this all along, but figuring out how to stop feeling badly about myself was a challenge. No matter how hard I willed myself to be more confident, no matter how much I told myself that these ideas were ridiculous they continued.

My confidence has increased over time, and I’ve found that doing a few simple things really helped.

No matter how much you sit around and think about doing something, or how much you need to change something you won’t see real results until you take precise action. Here are some actions I took to help me build my self-confidence.

Stop comparing. I was constantly comparing myself to others, and I knew that had to stop. I think social media makes this tendency to compare yourself to others even greater. People put the best parts of their lives on social media so what you see on Facebook isn’t necessarily a realistic representation of that person’s life. Comparing your real life to someone’s social media life is unrealistic and unfair to you.

When you find that you’re comparing yourself to others, stop and shift you focus to something else. When I notice that I’m starting to compare myself to others I stop and instead start thinking about what I’m grateful for in my own life.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful for the good in your life can really go a long way when it comes to overall happiness.

Stand up straight. When I was a teenager my grandmother always told me to stand up straight and I thought she was just being annoying, but she wasn’t. Your posture actually affects your mood.

A study done in 2009 by researchers at Ohio State showed that sitting up straight actually did increase participants confidence. Sitting up straight can also help you feel happier. [Tweet “Your posture doesn’t just affect the way others perceive you, it affects the way you see yourself.”]

Dress up. Your posture isn’t the only thing that affects the way you see yourself. I found that my clothes also play a big role in how I feel about myself. I went through a stage of not really caring much about what I looked like. I’d wear any old thing. Most of my clothes were given to me and much of it didn’t reflect my taste at all.

When I decided to stop just wearing other people’s hand-me-downs and start picking out clothes for myself that actually made me feel good, I noticed a big change in the way I felt. It may seem superficial but every time you pass a mirror you see what you look like. If you dress the part of the person you want to become, it puts you on a faster road toward actually becoming that person.

Be generous. When you help someone else, you feel better about yourself. Seeing how something you did can have a positive effect on someone else’s life can help you recognize how much you really are worth. Find people to serve and you’ll find that your self-esteem increases.

Recognize your accomplishments. We’ve all done something in our lives that we are proud of. Maybe you were a good student. Maybe you’ve overcome some kind of adversity. Maybe you’ve traveled. Make a list of all of the things that you have done that you are proud of. Keep that list somewhere where you can look at it when you are having periods of low self-confidence. It will remind you of all you’ve accomplished.

Celebrate the victories. When you accomplish a goal acknowledge it. Do something nice for yourself to celebrate. Don’t brush accomplishments aside like they are nothing. Acknowledging what you’ve done will help keep you on the path of improvement.

Practice making decisions. One product of my low self- confidence was my complete inability to make decisions. This was a symptom of not trusting myself. Not too long ago I decided to force myself to make decisions without deferring to someone else. I simply make the best choice and move on.

All of my indecisiveness was based in worry and fear about not making the right choice. This fear and worry is remedied by living in the moment. Once I make a choice, I accept it and don’t go through a series of what-if scenarios about the other choices I could’ve made.  When I started taking responsibility for myself and just making a decision I found that I was more confident about my abilities.

Keep your word. When you say you will do something … do it. Keep your promises to the people around you and most importantly keep your promises to yourself. Doing so gives you a sense of integrity that is crucial to feeling good about yourself.

You are not going to grow incredible self-confidence overnight. It is all a process. As you follow these steps you’ll notice your confidence increasing overtime. Treating yourself badly is a habit. That’s all it is. You can break it and start a new habit.

What are some things you’ve done to increase your self-confidence? Tell me about them in the comments below.