I grew up around music and musicians and often found myself wishing I was good at music. I played musical instruments, but I never excelled at music and I knew it. It wasn’t for lack of practice though.
When I lived in Korea, I put in hours of practice everyday at the music institute I was attending. I played the saxophone until my lip was sore. Then I’d rest for a bit and practice some more. The problem was that I wasn’t getting any better.
My teacher used to ask me how it was possible. “I know you’re practicing,” he’d say, “I just don’t understand how it is possible that you never improve?” I didn’t understand it either, and it really upset me.
For awhile the only thing I could see about myself was my terrible musical ability. My father was a professional musician. Shouldn’t some of that have rubbed off on me? I’d hit a brick wall in my progress, and it was heartbreaking.
Meanwhile, I had this other talent that I was totally ignoring. Writing seemed as natural to me as breathing when I was young, but I’d stopped doing it. I’d let my writing chops atrophy partly because I was so focused on trying to excel at music.
All I could see was this one thing that I was terrible at. Focusing on that one thing took a toll on my self-esteem. I beat myself up for sucking at music while ignoring my natural talent for writing. Because I was good at it I saw it as completely unimportant.
No one is good at everything and in our society we tend to focus on our weaknesses. We want to be balanced and well-rounded. We hit our heads up against a brick wall trying to master skills that don’t come naturally to us.
Balance is way overrated. I don’t think the great geniuses of the past or present got so good at what they do by being balanced. Instead they focused on what they were already good at. They focused on getting better at what came naturally to them.
I read a study once that said that people who were able to focus on what they were naturally good at everyday reported having an excellent quality of life. Do you want an excellent quality of life? My suspicion is that you do. Then focus on what you’re good at and become excellent at that.
I put the saxophone down years ago. I did that because it made me unhappy, and when I honestly assessed my situation I realized that I didn’t really want to become the great jazz musician I’d spent years trying to be. Musically speaking all I really wanted to do was be able to play a few songs on the guitar for fun. That’s what I do now. I’m mediocre on the guitar at best, but I have a good time with that mediocrity.
Now I can take those hours that I used to spend trying to master the saxophone and use them to write and paint. Writing is my true strength so I’ll focus on that and leave the real music to my husband.
What are you truly good at? Are you finding time everyday to develop that skill? If you did do you think you could become great?