The birthday cake was pink with white writing on top and little white roses around the edge. Shonda couldn’t read yet, but her mother told her the writing said “Happy Birthday.” Shonda got two roses with her piece because she was the birthday girl. Everyone else got one. The icing was thick and so sweet it made her teeth hurt.
Her mother made a chocolate sheet cake and bought candles shaped like the number “12.” Shonda liked that because twelve candles seemed like a lot to blow out to get her wish. This year she wished for a new bicycle. Her old one was hard to pedal and pink. Shonda wasn’t a little girl anymore. She wanted a grown-up bike like her friends.
Shonda would’ve preferred having dinner at a nice restaurant, but her friends insisted on a party. They danced to music that was much too loud and drank down giant gulps of beer that tasted like piss. Shonda pretended to like it or at least like the way it made her feel. She hovered around the edges of the party talking to a few friends and looking forward to the night being over.
The waiters came out with a birthday cake. They stood around her table singing. Shonda tried to look happy even though inside she was annoyed because she had told Aaron that she didn’t want anything special for her birthday. Thirty had come too quickly, and after a careful assessment, Shonda realized that she wasn’t going to have the life that she dreamed of. She still smiled though because everyone in the restaurant was singing to her and they all looked so happy.
The children helped her make the cake. Shonda let them pick the flavor because it didn’t much matter to her. They would eat most of it. They beamed with pride when the lopsided cake was finished. Shonda ate two pieces. It was the best birthday cake she ever had.
It was strange having a birthday without the children around. The last had gone off to college the month before. Shonda and Aaron ate dinner at her favorite Indian restaurant. He didn’t tell the waiter that it was her birthday and she appreciated that. Earlier that day she’d made cupcakes that neither of them ate. The next day she would take them to the elderly couple next door.
It was nice having everyone there for her birthday. Shonda wished she were at home and that she could cook a big meal for her family. They told her she needed to rest, but she felt like she’d been resting too much. Her hands shook as she took a slice ice cream cake from her daughter. They all watched her take the first bite and cheered like it was a big event. The cold ice cream melted across her tongue and slid down her throat so easily that she wished she could have a birthday every day.