The other day I bumped into an acquaintance at the coffee shop. It was good to see her, but I don’t know her very well and thought our conversation was a bit stilted and awkward. Did I ever mention that I’m socially awkward? I’m sure you know that by now.
Anyway after the interaction I kept thinking about it. I was doing that thing that I really shouldn’t do where I analyze a situation way more than anyone should. I was afraid that I came off as rude or that maybe she thought I disliked her, which was not the case at all. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say and I deal with it by trying to find a way to exit the situation as quickly as possible.
After doing lots of thinking and wondering about the situation I decided to send her a quick email to apologize if I was rude. So I sent a funny email explaining that I can be awkward in social situations at times and apologizing if I seemed rushed or rude. She responded saying that I wasn’t rude and that she is socially awkward too and that’s why the conversation was a bit weird. In the end we had a funny little email exchange that allowed us to get to know each other a bit better.
We all have little idiosyncrasies that we deal with. We all have problems and insecurities. Maybe you are socially awkward like me. Maybe you’re easily embarrassed or easily scared or maybe you like something that you are afraid others will think is weird.
I used to go around hiding these things about myself because I was afraid of what others might think. There was a time when I would’ve never considered emailing that person and telling her that I was socially awkward. There was a time when I would’ve tried to conceal a mistake because I was so afraid that people would judge me for it. Then I realized that the people that I like the most are the people who are upfront about who they are, warts and all.
When I started the Imagine the Possibilities podcast I was afraid because I’d never interviewed anyone before and I tend to be nervous about talking to strangers. Early on I decided to let people that I interview know that I might say something stupid. I have a little pre-interview chat with them to discuss what we’ll talk about and I always tell them to relax because if you make a mistake I’ll edit it out before posting it. Then I joke that the editing is really for me because I mess up at least one question every interview. That’s true by the way.
I joke about it upfront so when it does happen it’s kind of funny and we just move on. If the person I’m interviewing loses their train of thought it’s no big deal because I’ve already put them at ease about that type of thing happening.
I used to walk around trying to pretend I was perfect and being so afraid of being found out. That was a hard life that made me feel incredibly anxious. Don’t make that same mistake. No one can be perfect and your foibles are what endears you to others. If you’re nervous about something or feeling a bit awkward just admit it. I’ve found that just doing that takes a bit of the pressure off and helps me relax.