Our lives are built on our habits. The small rituals that fill our days help determine what our future lives will become. I’ve been quite aware of how much of what I do in my life is habit. I remember reading once that most of our adult lives take place on autopilot.
Have you ever been driving in your car and suddenly realized that you weren’t sure how you’d even gotten to where you were? I’ve gotten that feeling on numerous occasions and it’s frightening to realize that I’d started a routine drive home on autopilot.
Some of the most destructive things I do in my life are habits. They are bad habits like checking my email over and over when I’m tired instead of just laying down for a nap. Most of my bad habits strike when I’m tired and my will power has stalled. I’ll stay up watching You Tube videos and checking Facebook into the wee hours of the night instead of just going to bed.
These are things I still have to work on. No one is perfect that’s for sure and even though I need to work on these things I won’t beat myself up about them because beating yourself up doesn’t help.
While I still cling to these bad habits I’ve managed to fit some good habits into my life during this past year that have helped me become more productive and happier. I wake up early every morning to do my meditation and yoga practice. Everyday I write fiction for at least one hour. I’ve also made smiling and expressing my gratitude to others a habit.
We all have different goals and want to add different habits to our lives. Though I think my new habits are great, I would never push you to have the same goals as me. I do want to talk a bit about what you can do to make forming a new habit easier though.
Know your reason why …
You need to be clear about why you are establishing this new habit in the first place. This is important because when things get rough (which they most definitely will) you will need to remind yourself why you’re doing this. Having a compelling reason why will keep you motivated and moving forward.
Commit …
Commit to your new habit all the way. When I decided to start meditating I made a commitment to myself to do it everyday. Committing 100 percent to something is much easier than just committing to do it sometimes. Sometimes is vague and can easily turn into never.
If you are committed to it everyday you don’t have to think about it. As soon as you’re thinking about a new habit too much trouble starts. You skip days. You find excuses to put it off. Before you know it your new habit has fallen by the wayside. You need to make what you do as automatic as possible and a good way to do that is to commit to doing it daily.
Committing to your new habit for 30 days is a great way to help make a new habit stick.
Prepare …
This also goes a long way toward making your new habit as automatic as possible. I lay out my yoga clothes every night before I go to bed. I don’t want to have to put much thought into my morning routine when I wake up. It needs to be automatic. That means I need as few barriers to getting the task done as possible. I make sure everything is there the night before so I don’t have to think or make decisions.
Make it a ritual …
After breakfast I make a cup of tea. I go to my room and shut the door. I put on my favorite Pandora station. Then I start working on my novel. That is my ritual for writing fiction. I do it the same way every time. It is a routine that makes my writing automatic.
Before I established this routine my writing was not happening at all on most days. Now I write fiction everyday.
A routine can act as a catalyst. You start to know that after you do this certain set of things then this comes next. This is another way to make your new habit automatic.
Don’t be afraid to do it badly …
You’re not going to be 100 percent on point everyday, especially in the beginning. Some days I’m tired when I wake up and my yoga practice is only 10 minutes long and let’s just say it’s not pretty. I do it even though I’m tired because I committed to doing it everyday.
Sometimes I sit down to write and I have no idea what to write. I can’t think of anything. I come up with a bunch of horrible dribble. I don’t decide to take the day off writing. I’ve committed to at least an hour of fiction so I power through because the most important thing is that I showed up. By showing up I’m forming the habit.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that forming new habits is easy. It takes commitment and work, but you’ll find that it’s worth it.