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Consistent Action is Key

I did a headstand today. It may sound like nothing to you, but for me it really mattered. You see, I’m not exactly the most graceful person in the world. I’d trip and fall all the time. I drop stuff a lot, especially in stores. Luckily, I shop mainly in thrift stores, so if I break a vase it’s probably not going to cost me anymore than a couple bucks.

Anyway besides being clumsy, I do yoga–clumsy yoga. I have for a number of years, but there are certain postures that just always seem beyond me. Headstands and handstands are two of them. It’s a combination of skill and fear that prevents me from doing these two postures.

Recently, I’ve decided to take a new approach to both my yoga practice and my life. I’ve decided to chose on thing and focus on getting it done.

There are so many distraction in today’s society that it’s no wonder that most people feel overwhelmed. The day comes to an end and even though you were busy all day you find yourself wondering what you did exactly. At least I do.

Setting aside time each day to consistently work on a specific task has helped me accomplish something I thought would be impossible. Part of the solution was breaking the task down into definable steps. Learning to do a headstand started with doing more shoulder strengthen postures and putting my head down like I was going to go into a headstand but not doing it yet. I was just practicing the first steps and putting together the individual pieces … strong shoulder girdle, strong core, hip and leg flexibility.

With consistent daily practice I was able to do a headstand in thirty days. That’s pretty good considering how impossible it seemed to me when I started this task.

I’ve been using the same technique to finish the podcast I’d recorded of my first novel, The Box. I’ll be editing the last bit of it today. Then I’ll just need to figure out how to make the files into MP3s.

Both of these tasks seemed too large to accomplish just thirty days ago, but committing to work on them for a few minutes daily made them totally achievable.

Consistent action is the key. If you have something that you’ve always wanted to do that just seems impossible, try breaking it down into smaller steps. Then work on it for a short amount of time everyday until the task is accomplished. You’ll be surprised at what you can achieve.

This Too Shall Pass … Long-Term Thinking will Help You Manage Short-Term Problems

Yesterday wasn’t a good day for me. I discovered aphids on my tomato plants. I’ve been editing together chapters of my novel, The Box, into a podcast and managed to lose the edits for an entire episode. I’d been working for hours on these edits trying to figure out how to use effects to make my voice sound good and all of my work was lost. I know I should be saving as I go, but we don’t always do what we should. On top of that my head ached all day long and the pain just wouldn’t subside. I just felt generally like there were far too many things to do and not enough time.

We all have those days when we feel like dropping everything, driving to the airport, and hopping on the next plane to Turkey. Come on, I can’t be the only one.

There was a time when the events above would’ve sent me into an anxious worried state that prevented me from getting anything done at all. I would’ve dealt with the day by going back to bed, but I’ve turned over a new leaf … or at least I’m trying to.

One of the things that has worked the best for toning down my anxiety and helping me get through less than ideal situations is simply realizing that this too will pass. It seems cliche, but sometimes cliches are true. When you’re in the moment, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in it that you feel like it will last forever. Remembering that it won’t really goes a long way for me.

Thinking in the long-term brings your life into perspective. I’ll do something about the aphids. I’ll be re-edit that podcast episode tomorrow. My headache is most probably not an aneurysm and will go away. Looking at these concerns with today’s perspective they seem silly, but at the time they were huge to me. Maybe I’m a bit of a drama queen.

Remember to look at the long-term. We are constantly moving through time. Nothing lasts. The good and the bad all pass eventually. Experience them, feel them, and let them pass through your fingers tips to make room for the experiences that lay ahead.

Each day brings new experiences and new opportunities. The question is, what are you prepared to do with them?

Rest in Peace Dr. Maya Angelou

I was in a thrift store looking at vintage coffee pots when I heard the news on the radio. Maya Angelou had died and my heart grew heavy with grief.

Even as a young girl, Maya Angelou was someone I admired and respected. Then the cadence of her voice mesmerized me. I sat in awe of this tall black woman that everyone seemed to listen to. As I got older and started to understand more of what she said her wisdom astounded me. I used to wonder how someone could live such an exciting life. I used to wonder how anyone could experience so much in one lifetime.

She was one of the reasons I decided to become a writer. She was one of the reasons I started writing poetry. For her influence I will forever be grateful because this woman who I never really knew helped form some of the fundamental parts of me.

The world has lost a great woman today. She will definitely be missed.

Cole Haan “Maya Angelou (Director’s Cut)” from Ben Hughes on Vimeo.

Overcome Negative Thinking with These Two Simple Steps

Some of us are naturally negative thinkers. Worry, complaints, and negativity just seem flow into our heads. Despite what you may think in the past I have been known to do a bit of worrying. Actually I still do, but I’m overcoming it. So I thought I’d use this post to tell you how I’ve been getting my act together. I’m far from perfect and still find myself slipping back into worry sometimes, but when I do I have the tools to stop.

Negative thinking is natural. We all do it sometimes. Some of us do it more than others. The problem with negative thinking is the effect it has on your life and your well-being.

When I was first trying to overcome my problems with negative thinking, I read that I should replace all of my negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I tried that and on my goodness did it give me a headache. There were just too many negative thoughts in my head and attempting to replace them all with positive thoughts took up so much brain space that I was finding it difficult to do much else. The average person has 55,000 thoughts a day. Trying to manage all of those is just exhausting.

So I decided that replacing every negative thought with a positive one was just not going to work for me. Instead, I decided to take a simpler course of action, acknowledging the negative thought and then letting it go. I used to hold onto negativity with all my might. I was like a clinched fist all the time. It was so stressful, but when I decided to release those negative thoughts I could feel my body relax.

I don’t know about you, but I used to go into a negative spiral. I would hold onto and kind of riff on a negative thought for quite a while. Then I’d turn my attention to another, and then another.

Not holding onto those negative thoughts and feelings is the first step to overcoming negative thinking. There is an important second step too. This may seem a little touchy feely and new agey to you. I hate to admit it, but I’m a little touchy feely and new agey. That’s just how I roll.

As you start this practice of letting go of negative thoughts, you should also start a practice of gratitude. That’s right I said it. I promise you it won’t hurt. It won’t make you start wearing crystals and seeing auras, but it will help you remember all the reasons you have to be happy, and that certainly does improve your life.

When you get up in the morning take some time to quietly reflect on life. I like to take my dog for a walk first thing in the morning. After you’ve had some time to clear your head get out a piece of paper and write down ten things you’re thankful for. Be detailed. You’ll be doing this every morning so it’s important to be detailed. You shouldn’t try to write down different things everyday without repeating. Once you make your list fold it up, and put it in your pocket, or your purse, or whatever you carry around with you during the day. Take your list out three times during the day and read it. Don’t just skim it. Really read it and think about the things you wrote on it.

Combining these two activities, releasing your negative thoughts and gratitude, will help you think more positively in your daily life. Don’t believe me? That’s your prerogative, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to try it out. Changing your thinking is the first step to changing your life, and you’re probably here because you’re ready to do just that.

Try it out for thirty days. I made a little gratitude journal to help kick start your gratitude practice. Just sign up for my mailing list below to get your free PDF gratitude journal. Take the first steps toward change. I’ll be there to cheer you on alone the way.

Age is No Excuse … Start Living the Life You Imagined Today

On Monday, I turn forty. That’s a big deal birthday, but to be honest, I haven’t really thought much about it until today. At ten all I wanted was to be grown so I could do whatever I wanted whenever. At twenty I felt like the world was one big, terrifying adventure. The possibilities laid out before me where endless. At thirty I cried when I realized that I was a full-fledged adult and I no longer had any excuses.

Do I have regrets at forty? Yeah I have plenty, but fretting about the past won’t accomplish much. The future still lays out before me with all of its possibilities. Whatever I dream I can make happen with work and a clear vision of where I want to be.

Many people use age as an excuse as to why they can’t do something.

“I’m too old to learn a foreign language.”

“It’s too late to change careers.”

“I have too many responsibilities to travel the world.”

You know what. I’m tired of excuses. We only get one go around on this planet so you better make it gosh darn good. What do you want to do? What impact do you want to make? Who do you want to help?

I’m forty now (not technically now, but in a few days) and there is still a whole pile of stuff I want to get done. I can decide that I’m too far gone to start anything new and piddle away my days doing things that don’t challenge me at all or I can set some goals and get busy achieving them.

Time is going to keep on passing no matter what you chose to do. Next year you could be a whole older and a year closer to accomplishing your big dreams or you could be a year older and a bit more annoyed with yourself because you never even tried to live your dreams.

Do you want to write a book, or learn to play the guitar, or speak Spanish, or learn to draw, or bike ride across the country, or become a public speaker… The possibilities are endless. Well get busy doing it. Time waits for no one as they say. The future will look so much better if you take some time to imagine the possibilities and start moving toward them.

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